Pregnancy feels like a good place to begin this blog.
Pregnancy. A time when a foetus develops in a womb. A time when a baby grows inside a Mother. A time to prepare for a new life. A magical time. A time of change. A time of joy. Pregnancy is obviously all of these things and more, and this pregnancy has also been the following...
A time when my body ceased to function as is has done for most of my life. A time when walking became painful. A time when I lay on the sofa more than I've ever done and watched the entire Twilight series of films again in about four days flat. A time when I cried a lot. A time when I was sick every evening for 20 weeks. A time when I craved carbonara and my husband got really good at making it. A time when my children had to learn a new way of playing because I couldn't pick them up or take them to a park. A time when going to the shops became a difficult task. A time when my independence faltered. A time when bumping into people in town made me anxious about how long I would have to stand and chat before my hips began to weaken. A time when I had to dig deep to find the small things that make me happy and relish those tiny little parts of my life.
I am filled with gratitude about our fortune that third time round I got pregnant easily and the baby so far seems healthy, and very strong! I know how lucky I am in a million ways, my gratitude journal has helped hugely with my mental health these past few months and I am finding things to be appreciative of and making sure I bake that appreciation into my daily routine. But, man oh man when your physical abilities shift so dramatically it's tough.
One thing the past 8 months have taught me is that there are certain things that regulate me and my moods, and that those things are pretty small and all things that were woven into the fabric of my daily life - things I took for granted. Perhaps you can relate with your own small things that help to balance your mood and bring you back to feeling 'normal' for you?
1. Walking. I think I knew this already, but more than any other exercise I do, a simple walk is the thing that I know will boost my mood for the rest of the day.
2. Hosting, cooking and socialising. My taste buds have swapped with someone else's this pregnancy and I've gone off most things I would normally guzzle. Coupled with a lack of desire and energy to host, and a sickness that has reared its' head repeatedly throughout pregnancy; I've not done much cooking for myself or others. Tomato, basil and mozarella salad and many a mini magnum have formed a large part of my pregnancy diet.
3. Baking. One thing I've kept going and has sort of saved me. The gentle smells of cakes baking in the house, cracking eggs with my daughter, letting my son lick the spoon. Seeing something appear from raw ingredients. Goodness I love to bake.
4. Yoga. Perhaps a given seeing as this is my primary job, but I miss teaching, moving and being in a room with other yogis. It's a specific kind of life force when you're in a room with people breathing and moving, and I can't wait to get back to teaching again.
5. Moving quickly. I have had to really, really slow down. Sitting up is painful after a while, walking distances of any sort is now a no go and for the past six months I've been a much slower version of myself. It's made me realise how much I take for granted being able to jump up and run to the car, or even being able to move from room to room in my house without the aid of a support belt and without cautious and small steps. I'm a speedy mover and I will never take it for granted again.
I could probably add enjoying a really good quality bottle of wine with my husband here too as that one I definitely miss! Line me up a delicious cold, buttery Chardonnay for when this baby arrives because I will want and need it.